It must be said that Parent Hood
Is the greatest gift in Life
I know this is a fact that's true
I was told it by my wife
But with it comes a price to pay
Best things in life aren't free
There are things that really get you down
On this we both agree
Baby groups can wind you up
Especially "All join in"
When you want to hide in corners
And would be happier with Gin
Now Disney films were great to watch
I loved them as a child
But the thousandth watch of Frozen
Will drive any adult wild
We all love bedtime stories
But some time there is the one
Which your child wants read just every night
A real pain in the bum
We dream of long days in the park
Warm sky, cool breeze, birds sing
But why the heck do I find myself
The motor for a swing
We get them out of nappies
We think "more cash for me"
But we still get shouted from the loo
"Please help, this one's slimy"
Food, don't get me started
It takes an age to cook
You present it on the table
And you know you'll get that look
You're either trying to poison them
Or kill them with the veg.
And they take so long to eat one bit
It leaves me quite on edge
Our washing machine was loyal to us
We used it twice a week
It now gets used twice a day
And last week sprung a leak
A day out at the soft play
As a child was bouncy fun
As an adult squeezing through the grid
Is no fun for anyone
I used to speak of life and art
The issues of the day
But now when meeting friends about
"How are the children?" is what they say
A jigsaw could be one fine way
To spend time with your brood
But do not try to help them out
They think you're being rude
Now Derek Jacobie's a man
I really once admired
But when he took The Night Garden On
I wish he had retired
Art and Craft, Junk modelling
Children love to do with flare
I used to have nice ornaments
Now their junk is everywhere
Leaving the house would simply be
"Come on, shall we pop out?"
But now it's "Get those shoes on"
And a marathon "COATS" shout
But I know that it's all worth it
Of these traits they will out grow
I just hope I live to see it
At the moment I don't know
In the meantime I take solace
In the joy I get to keep
For at least two hours every day
I'm awake while they're asleep
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